27

And so another birthday (month) came and went. I realized the older I got, the more I enjoy looking back at the previous cluster of memories of being 26 and reflecting upon it. Admittedly, 2017 wasn’t a friendly year, by far one of the harder years I’ve had. Starting with the end of 2016 (quarter century was still a very good year though!) I got into a terrible accident that left me temporarily disabled for 5 months. There were also a slew of unfortunate things that happened but there was one lesson that I found really eye-opening in 2017.

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No one is perfect. Humans are notoriously good at making mistakes– human errors, making life absurdly inefficient and difficult when it doesn’t have to be. Fortunately, there are good qualities too and for me, one of my redeeming qualities is that I’m ferociously loyal to my close-knit friends. As Dom Toretto tells it:  “Salute la familia”. If you were at  Davey Jones’ Locker, I would go to the World’s End to come and save your ass. LOL. It’s because for the most part I give really few fucks, fucks are only given to people that are of utmost importance to me. I’d fight tooth and nail for you, but the thing is– you can only fight for so long before you exhaust yourself.

I was told again and again that I should be more tolerant of deviant behavior because age, inexperience and ignorance results in said behavior. I understand if you were in your teenage years, but when you reach your 20s, there’s only so many more times you can use that excuse. To me, age is just a number– I’ve known people who has been through devastatingly tragic events in their lives at a young age that forced them into early adulthood before hitting the age of 18. They grieved, but they took initiative, got their shit together and moved forward. They didn’t use their “tragic past” to define who they were and use it as an excuse to be pitied upon. I honestly hate it when people use that to victimize themselves so people can cater to them like they’re entitled to it as if they’re the only ones that’s gone through it/going through a shitty time in life. Reality check: you aren’t the only one.

I’ve always believed that when things are bad/there’s a problem, one should always find a solution, not turn the other cheek thinking the problem will go away. Confront  it. Stand your ground. Don’t give it that half-assed attempt and then give up mid way through, mind as well not try at all because it’s just wasted half-assed effort. Don’t do and say one thing, but turn around and do something that contradicts it. I can’t stand for uselessness and hypocritical sub par efforts, then having expectations that everyone else will take care of the rest of it. TRULY fight and succeed for a better life– as an individual.

I might not have the best level of patience, but I’m pretty open minded about many views and to positive influences in life (especially when I’m a cynical pessimistic misanthrope– for the record, this is different from being ‘negative’). One can only accept a certain level of negativity and inefficient deviant behavior before you go bat shit insane yourself. It’s draining. Like baseball, I only give people three chances. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me thrice– STRIKE. You’re out! Now GTFO of my life. I’ve fought a long and hard battle to learn to love myself and to get to where I am today. I am able to do the things and be with the people I admire and have fun with the most not because I stood around waiting for prince charming to come and whisk me away. I crawled, fought, and bled for this. I am loving my life too much to want such a downer influence back in. I am not going to apologize for not accepting and continue tolerating such behavior. I don’t coddle.

But if that means letting go, then so be it. I gave one fuck too many.

Bye, Felicia.

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