Happy (belated) birthday to myself, 25 and alive.
To be honest, the day sucked. I went to work an hour early thinking I would leave the office early as a little reprieve for myself since it’s my birthday. Didn’t happen- instead I was kept in the office an hour over my normal clock out time and the entire day was just a tundra of shitty things that snowballed into a gigantic mess. The only saving graces was that I got my free Starbucks birthday drink and I ended the night with hot pot with some pretty awesome friends.
Yes, the day sucked and if I could I would rewind and redo it differently, but life doesn’t work that way. Everyone has bad days and it was unfortunate that it happened on my birthday but: No fucks given. Move on. Life motto to live by, everyone, it’ll save your life a whole lot of drama, grief and stress. Which I’ve also applied to work and just life in general.
On another note, as I got older it seemed like I’ve gotten into more and more clashes with other females in my life. Not really with people I know, but minor acquaintances that I happened to meet at motorcycle nights (well, one in particular is being nerco’ed to life from beyond the grave from my middle school days). The thing is: I don’t get along with other girls that well. I don’t make friends with other females as well as I do with males. I read an article about a woman just like me, but her conclusion was that the drama/issue all stemmed from her rather than the other girls. So is it my fault?
A plethora of girls has always accused me of coming off cold or not impressed merely because my face looks a certain way towards them. Judging. While I can’t change my face, let me elaborate on my case. It’s not judging, it’s called self-preservation. I observe, and while that may make me come off cold (and apparently bitchy), I have no ill-will. I observe by listening to the way they talk, what they talk about, how they talk about it, their nuances, their habits, their ticks to see if I would get along with that person to protect my own sanity. I know the kind of people I get along with, I know myself the best so I don’t want to waste my time with someone I know I won’t get along with.
For the most part, I’ve found that most females that I’ve met are like explosions of fireworks, always bright and fast and I can’t handle all of that. They like to talk too much, hug (personal space, please), and always in your face speaking (lightening fast might I add) about their kids, raves, the brand of lipstick they’re wearing, etc. Frivolous and trivial topics that I don’t care about. I’m just wishing for them step back and to stop talking for a minute so I can regain my bearings. Then they get offended when this happens making me come off as a grade A asshole. What? I haven’t even done anything. I just wanted them to respect my personal boundaries.
The hardest thing to understand is girls’ (some, not all) innate ability to stir up drama for no apparent reason at all: Natural instigators. In most cases it’s mostly rumors they go by (like a terrible game of “Telephone” gone wrong), but they use that as a war call to cause problems. Why not just go to source of their problems instead of roaming around aimlessly on bad info. Why do they even care so much? Let it go. Life would be so much simpler. They also like to talk to me like they know me, always bringing up the fact that I have been hanging out with the “wrong kind of girls” and “making the wrong friends” because they’re much cooler kind of girls/better to hang out with. Thanks. Thanks for calling me a bad judge of character. Many of them also never walk the talk, they talk big of aspirations and “goals” but never walk the walk when it comes down to it and then they start complaining and making excuses about their minimal results. Their lack of commitment is appalling, gives the female species a bad rap.
Most girls are just emotionally exhausting to be around. I’m like a streaming sliver of water, while I can sometimes become a roaring river, most of my time I’m just pacing myself down the mountain. Majority of them that I encounter emotionally suck the life out of me, drain me until I am no more. Is that such a terrible reason to find them unpleasant and hard to befriend? Most of the time I just want to go home, crawl into my bed and stay there for the rest of the week to recharge. This is just by observing and listening to them.
Although not every one of them are like that, just seemingly many that I encounter. The older I get the more I realized it’s because I don’t want to waste time on bullshit things like drama so I nip them in the bud. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ So sue me.